The Non Adventure of the 34th Birthday

Today is my 34th birthday.

Of course, birthdays aren’t really birthdays any more. Back in the day, the days before Noah, I used to have three birthdays:

  1. My actual birthday (i.e. 10th June)
  2. My family birthday
  3. My friends birthday

My last real birthday was my 30th. I had a big party: a Hollywood themed fancy dress. And thank goodness I did because, one month later, I was pregnant with Noah and birthdays would never be the same again.

Can you guess who I am?
Can you guess who I am?

In just one year, by the time I turned 31, life as I knew it had changed beyond repair. Noah was two months old. My life was not my own. My boobs were not my own. I no longer slept. I no longer had a waist. I no longer had birthdays. At first, I didn’t admit this to myself. One morning, after Noah had miraculously slept for three hours in his Dream Swing, I decided I would have a small gathering for my 31st. I made it into an event on Facebook and invited all of my friends. At 11 o’clock that night, I cancelled it. How naïve.

I remember absolutely nothing about my 32nd birthday. My 33rd birthday was overshadowed by my sister’s 30th. Her birthday is three days after mine. We planned to go out for a family meal sans Noah. The table was booked for 7.30pm. Unfortunately, Noah, with his freaky sixth sense for these things, detected something was happening without him and didn’t go to sleep until 8.30pm meaning we made it to the restaurant at 9pm.

My 3rd birthday - the last birthday I had to myself (sorry for the slightly freaky picture)
My 3rd birthday – the last birthday I had to myself (sorry for the slightly freaky picture)

So how does my 34th birthday measure up?

Today involved a fairly early start at 5.45am. I can’t complain because it was the first night in a week that Noah hadn’t been awake for two hours at 2am. Noah was very excited about my birthday and opened all of my presents for me. He was thrilled by my new ipad (or should I say our new ipad?) and christened it with a go on the CBeebies app. He then made me some fairy cakes. In the afternoon, we went to a children’s art class with my friend and her son and made a series of different butterflies with paints, tissue, sequins and pipe cleaners.

Deliciously Noah
Deliciously Noah

But this Saturday I am going out on the town with my amigos for the first time in four birthdays. Ok, so it’s brunch rather than a night on the tiles, but it does involve unlimited Prosecco for £15! Getting drunk on my birthday used to be compulsory. Getting drunk on anyone’s birthday used to be compulsory. Now I have to get home in time to put Noah to bed.

What happened to this girl?
What happened to this girl?

My Noah, I would not swap you for all the world to be that girl again. Anyway, she isn’t gone for good. One day, when you’re about fourteen, I’ll be the embarrassing Mum dancing on the table with a neon pink cocktail in a fish bowl and a straw on her birthday.

P.S. I would like to officially thank my friends, my family and my husband for their generous birthday presents. My Noah and I are very lucky to be surrounded by your unconditional kindness.


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